Monday Motivation "Love Yourself"

There is no question that there is a weight related stigma in our society. I have experienced it throughout my life.

First, let’s go back to when I was young. I was thin growing up. I could eat whatever I wanted and not worry about packing on extra pounds. At times, I ate with the intention of trying to gain weight. It is hard to believe that now. I had a friend that was overweight. She once told me that since I was skinny I couldn’t understand how bad other people made her feel about her weight. I interjected mid-sentence to correct her, “Oh, yes I do”! True, at that time I did not understand about being overweight but I understood about being made fun of because of my weight. I was the recipient of many comments that were hurtful, especially as a teenager. These comments not only came from kids my age but also from adults. Just because someone is “skinny” does not mean they are exempt from being body shamed.

Now, let’s fast forward to adulthood. I gained weight after having surgery in 2005. I know that I can attribute some of the weight to medical reasons but most of it was brought on by unhealthy eating habits and inactivity. There were also factors that triggered emotional eating. Before I knew it, I weighted 127 lbs more than the day I got married. I could now say that I understood how my friend felt being overweight. I remember the looks from people, the remarks about how I should “walk away from the donuts” at work, the awful feeling of being out shopping trying on clothes or not wanting to sit in a chair fearing it would break.

Let’s talk about present day, 93 pounds lost. I have noticed people treating me different. I am talking about strangers. Not my family or friends (they loved me skinny, overweight and everywhere in between). People seem friendlier. Is this because I have lost weight? I feel like it is. But not necessarily because of other people’s change in behavior. I think it’s due to my change. For many years, I was self-conscious, feeling bad about myself with my head hung so low that I didn’t look up and see the good parts. Yes, there are people that will judge us by our weight but they will do so whether we are thin or overweight. We can’t control that. We can control how we let it affect us.  Where ever you are on your journey, hold your head up high and see the good. Most importantly, love yourself.

—Monica